Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
