Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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