What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
