everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
