How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
