I hate your face
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Randomize
