so that wasnt chicken after all
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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