If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Do vagina's smell?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
