nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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