Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
