He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
