i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She bit a glass in half.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
