but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
