Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
