toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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