Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Randomize
