How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
