and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
