dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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