The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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