is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
