Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
high people should be assigned attendants
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
