i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
