I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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