So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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