i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
