I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
