You're completely useless in the revolution.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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