Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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