Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize