Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
