Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
