Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
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bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
