is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
