Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
should my penis look like a turkey
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
