1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Randomize
