i can't believe i had my finger in that
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
areolas are like halos for boobs.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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