A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
