ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
