My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize