As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
