It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
