My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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