Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
