Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
