i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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