Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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