Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
