dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
