Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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