You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wannas sexs uuuuu
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
