its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Randomize
