First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
