Who wears a wallet chain?!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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