If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
