I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
