we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
