shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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