I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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