omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
