Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
